Sunday, August 16, 2009


I have had a few questions of the soul over my time here on earth. Is there a God? What is love? Should I get the coke slurpee or the cherry? You know, the usual. But none are so great as this one, and yes my friends I found the answer to the question.

Why do morons exist? Where do they come from? How do they survive? And how do I learn to love them like our Savior can? The answer my friends is that we love morons because without them, Jesus couldn't come back. It has to get worse before it gets better. So next time you feel like yelling at a complete fool, tripping someone who deserves it, or wishing a curse on the DMV worker who has vaselined lips and red fingertips from eating hot cheetos, and then gets her juices all over your documents, remember that they are your friends. And don't forget, when Jesus does come back and compares them to you, you are going to come out smelling like a rose, and well, they will smell like the Wendy's they have been working at their entire lives.

p.s. why do I always blog when I am irritated? I am going to change that about myself. The next blog will be happy and uplifting and just plain dandy. Until then, my loyal blog followers, much love, and remember: Jesus is coming, so look busy.


  1. Wow, such a timely post. I was pondering this VERY SAME QUESTION last night when the drunk idiot across the aisle from me on the plane would NOT SHUT UP! I really did think to myself, How is it possible that someone this retarded was actually able to purchase a plane ticket and some how manage to get to the airport at the right time? And where the heck are they going? It's clearly not business and there's no way this social pariah could actually have friends or family that they didn't long ago alienate. So, it's a mystery. (Please excuse my bitterness. I'm clearly still a little worked up about it. ;))

    Miss you! If you kill any DMV employees, promise that I'll be the first to know!