I SEE YOUR HALO.

Today I did some of the following:

~tied at least 14 kids shoelaces that had come undone.

~taught a lesson about ratios and percentages that i didn't even understand, and the whole time i was teaching i was praying the kids didn't ask me questions about it.

~sang the November gobble gobble song (hand motions and dance included).

~played soccer with 3rd grade boys at their recess....they were impressed.

~sent six graders to the principals office because they kept throwing sand at each other.... idiots!

~read the best book of my childhood with the coolest kid ever! read the Watsons go to Birmingham if you can. it is perfecto.

~made an adorable paper turkey, and on the paper feathers kindergarteners and i wrote things that we were grateful for. one girl was sure to write cookie dough and another boy was grateful for his glasses.... such cuties.

~and best of all.... heard this hilarious conversation between 2 5th graders.

boy #1: "i am an angel."
boy #2: "yeah right!"
boy #1: "i am." "see my halo?"
boy #2: "yes, and do you want to know what is holding that halo up?"
boy #1: "what?"
boy #2: "two little devil horns!"

Yes, I love my job.

EXTRACTING WISDOM

I got my wisdom teeth pulled. I dread these sort of things. I know what you all want to hear: the waking up from anesthesia story. It wasn't too crazy though.

I woke up from anesthesia and refused to talk. People would say stuff and I would just give them the death stare.... like if you say one more word I will kill you. Quit asking me if I am comfortable! No, I am not comfortable with 4 holes in my jaw and bloody gauze in my mouth, but thanks for asking. When it was time for them to wake me up from the leather couch I was sleeping on, I told the workers I would not put my shoes on. Whenever he tried to slide them on again I just kept waving my long, pointer finger back and forth, like no, no, no that is not going to happen. No shoes for me. It took my mom coaxing me to put them on for about 5 minutes, and then I finally gave in. I'm still stubborn even when I am drugged up. Still, it was not too bad of a reaction to the meds.

By the way, I think pulling wisdom teeth is a conspiracy. Our grandparents and every other generation before them never had to get them pulled. All of a sudden they are these terrible teeth and they need to be extracted? Um no. Those oral surgeons just want my cash money. THIEVES.

COUNTDOWN!

COMING HOME OCT 27

Excuse me, but do you see the date? That means that my sister will be home in 30 days. I am so excited. SORELLA ANDERSEN COME HOME TO ME!

JOYS OF TEMPING

Yesterday the Spanish teacher at school called in sick. How appropriate for the Spanish teacher to get the swine flu. No one at the school speaks Spanish, because it is full of white, suburban, Mormon moms. I am the closest thing they have to a Spanish speaker, so, the principal relieved me of all of my obligations for the day and they threw me in as the Spanish teacher..... oh my heavens. I felt like Jack Black in School of Rock. Hello, just because you have to take 4 years in high school doesn't mean you learn anything! I ditched half of the time and when I did make it to class for the other half of the time I was watching my friend make Top Ramen on his portable stove in the middle of my teacher's lesson (he was a strange kid). Anyways, I am just saying, I do not know Spanish.

You all would have been so proud of me, I walked in the classrooms and all the teachers that know me on campus where like "I didn't know you spoke Spanish?" I wasn't about to look like an idiot, so I decided to act all smooth and was all, "oh yeah, I used to live in Mexico, I know enough Spanish to get by." I left out the fact that in my world, getting by is knowing how to order tortilla soup without onions (sin cebolla), and saying the hi how are you crap you learn from Dora the Explorer. Anyways, my nightmare came true when I was teaching the second graders...... THERE WAS A GIRL FROM MEXICO CITY. That's right, she was straight up from Mexico. Yikes. Ask me if I just wanted to shrivel up and die. I had been faking it well for 3 class periods, but oh boy I didn't think I could do it in front of the real deal. After class she was like "you're Spanish accent is muy bien."Hahaha it was a compliment from a second grader, but shoot, I'll take it.

Needless to say I survived the day, and made friends with all the kiddies in school. I love teaching my regular classes. My students rock. Everyone loves Miss Kaley! Adios.

TO MY BELOVED

To my beloved first crush, may you rest in peace.

I love you.

THIS IS WHAT I LIKE.

So I promised that the next time I blogged it would be about something dandy. I fear too many people think I am either 1. scary or 2. depressed. So, let me pull a Julie Andrews on myself and tell you a few of my favorite things.

~gospel ~family ~my pals ~people watching ~surprises ~temples ~people who give firm handshakes ~wit~playing cards with my family for FHE ~the beach ~art~ salt & pepper hair ~learning new things about Ben Franklin~dreaming about becoming a spy ~roses ~Raj ~men's soccer~good parents ~my orthodontist ~fresh fruit ~smile lines ~elopements~the golden girls ~fishermen ~perfume ~super nintendo~scarves ~ thinking about people getting dressed... um before you judge, think about it. it makes me laugh so hard. ~splash mountain ~people who don't bore me ~dictionary.com's word of the day ~inappropriate jokes ~movies that make me cry ~folding towels (love it) ~old photos ~people who blow kisses and/or wink and manage not to freak me out (that's talent, and i like it if you can pull it off) ~serious men ~pineapple juice ~air conditioning (great) ~french and italian~hand written letters ~phone calls that are short and sweet~making people laugh ~people who stand up for what is right... people with backbones get 2 thumbs up from me.~Emerson ~eating lunch with my teachers ~keeping secrets ~being awake for sunrise ~the hits i sing in the shower ~handmade jewelry ~homemade gifts ~men who can hug you just right (no thanks to sissy girl hugs) ~movies ~sincere comments ~generosity ~nature ~lockets ~80's hair ~maleficent ~bon fires, and then not having to camp outside afterwards ~french fries ~anyone who can do mental math is such a winner to me ~inside jokes ~people that get attached to their pens ~my favorite sweatshirt ~being trusted ~card tricks ~simple lifestyles and complex minds ~rivers ~the front seat of the car ~first aid kits (awesome) ~people with kind hearts ~good story tellers ~sleeping in the park~happiness etc

Okay there you go. Tons of things that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. And that list could go on and on forever. I love life. I am neither scary (unless you abuse your kids in front of me) or depressed (unless the sun isn't shining). I also keep my promises, and I promise from here on out that no more boring blogs like this shall ever be posted again.

JESUS IS COMING... LOOK BUSY.

I have had a few questions of the soul over my time here on earth. Is there a God? What is love? Should I get the coke slurpee or the cherry? You know, the usual. But none are so great as this one, and yes my friends I found the answer to the question.

Why do morons exist? Where do they come from? How do they survive? And how do I learn to love them like our Savior can? The answer my friends is that we love morons because without them, Jesus couldn't come back. It has to get worse before it gets better. So next time you feel like yelling at a complete fool, tripping someone who deserves it, or wishing a curse on the DMV worker who has vaselined lips and red fingertips from eating hot cheetos, and then gets her juices all over your documents, remember that they are your friends. And don't forget, when Jesus does come back and compares them to you, you are going to come out smelling like a rose, and well, they will smell like the Wendy's they have been working at their entire lives.

p.s. why do I always blog when I am irritated? I am going to change that about myself. The next blog will be happy and uplifting and just plain dandy. Until then, my loyal blog followers, much love, and remember: Jesus is coming, so look busy.